Dungeon Keeper Ukyou
by A-kun
Summary: It was Ukyou who was sent instead of Ranma. Now Ukyou needs to get home fast before Ranma falls in love with someone else. - STALLED. READ PROFILE ABOVE FOR DETAILS.
1. Dungeon Keeper Ukyou 1

Horny stared down at the girl. In all his years, he had never   
seen a normal human girl sleep so soundly. Mostly because all of them   
were woken up by their towns being destroyed, but also because most had   
an animal instinct about danger.  
Her long brown hair was spread out around her as she lay on what   
looked like the top three inches of a bed. She snuggled against her   
pillow and muttered out a name that Horny didn't quite hear. It   
sounded like "rhubarb", but with a "ma" sound instead of the "barb".   
The girl's sheets were waded up and wrapped in a strange pattern around   
her, almost like a tentacle. She was only wearing a white tank top and   
panties as far as Horny could see, though she had a silk ribbon between   
her thighs.  
Then, the girl woke up, yawned loudly and idly pushed Horny   
aside. She opened the wooden door to the Dungeon Heart room and knelt   
down next to the water surrounding the Heart. Horny approached her as   
she washed her face, then the giant Reaper blinked as she grabbed his   
loincloth and wiped her face dry.  
Sure, he kept his own garment reasonably clean, but shouldn't the   
girl have been screaming in terror yet? The girl moved to put the   
cloth back when her hand brushed against his thigh. That caused her to   
pause.  
She looked up at Horny, then back down at his loincloth, then,   
she was five feet away. Horny blinked.  
"OHGEEZ! I'm sorry! I didn't think..." the girl began, before   
noticing her surroundings.  
"Where the hell am I?" she asked.  
Ordinarily, Horny would have simply killed anyone who tried to   
get into the Dungeon Heart's room, but it had been a VERY long time   
since he'd had to fight anything and he was suffering from terminal   
boredom. If the girl became the new Keeper, he'd have some fun again.  
"This is a Dungeon Heart." Horny told her, motioning towards the   
three archways and stairways surrounding the magical membrane of the   
Dungeon Heart. All around the Heart were treasure chests filled with   
gold and gems.  
"What's a Dungeon Heart?" she asked.  
"It's a magical device that draws in mana and allows it's keeper   
to do all sorts of things." Horny answered.  
"Are you it's keeper?" she inquired.  
Horny shook his head, "I am simply it's guardian. The last   
keeper passed on of old age. Would you care to take it up?"  
"Uh, that'd be nice, but I've got to get home.... whereever home   
is..." the girl responded.  
"Horny, who are you talking to?" came the very mature and almost   
grave-like voice of an old man as he entered through one of the two   
other passageways into the Dungeon Heart room, leaning heavily on a   
staff. He had long grey hair that reached his knees and wore a plain   
white robe.  
The old man gazed at the girl and smiled, "And who might you be?"  
"I'm Ukyou Kuonji and I need to get home. Do you know the way to   
Nerima?" Ukyou inquired.  
"I am Lundar, advisor to the Keeper." the old man introduced   
himself, before squinting at her, "Hmm, I can tell by the magical   
pattern surrounding you that you were banished to this world by someone   
old and powerful, but dimwitted and perverse. It was likely a miscast   
spell that brought you here."  
The old and powerful could have meant Cologne. The amazon   
matriarch was unpredictable and might see throwing her into another   
dimension as a sure way to get rid of her. But, only one person came   
to mind when the word 'perverse' was brought up. Ukyou growled,   
"Happosai."  
"You might be able to get home if you were to claim the twenty   
Portal Gems of this land. The Dungeon Heart would have more than   
enough magical power to teleport you home once it's power has been   
reactivated, but teleportation has been nearly impossible since the   
Portal Gems were placed all over this land. But you would have to   
become it's master and keeper. You would be tied to it and unable to   
go home without it. But it's fairly easy to hide and easier to   
maintain. You wouldn't have much trouble with it, unless you tried to   
move beyond a mile of it's range." Lundar explained.  
"But I know nothing about magic." Ukyou protested.  
"You don't need to, really. It's mostly directing the will and   
learning runes to make spells easier. There are many benefits to being   
a keeper, too, such as being able to communicate with any creature,   
read any language, you'd never get sick, and you can heal yourself   
whenever you're injured." Lundar told her.  
"Well... if it's the only way home... but you better not be   
pulling my leg, sugar, or I swear you'll regret it." Ukyou warned   
Lundar, though the idea of finally being able to understand Shampoo or   
Cologne if they ever tried to talk in Mandarin to disguise their plans   
was a definite plus.  
"There is but one snag to getting home, but you would have to   
deal with it either way." Lundar spoke up, knowing that it was best to   
get everything out in the open, lest one piss off one's keeper, "The   
king of this land has placed all the portal gems under guard, so you   
will have to build a fighting force to retrieve them."  
"I don't want anyone to get die just to get home." Ukyou said.  
"Well, we could build a prison, then your imps would dragged   
fallen enemies back to them, but they would starve and become   
Skeletons... hmmm, doesn't solve the key problem, does it? Wait, we   
could then build a Torture Chamber as well. That would allow you to   
convert enemies into allies." Lundar explained.  
Ukyou considered it. It was better if no one died and it was the   
only way to get home. She just hoped Ranma didn't allow himself to get   
caught by that shameless hussy, Shampoo, or Akane, the poster child for   
abusive rage disorders. Sure, Ukyou knew she had a temper, but she   
considered her to be equal to Shampoo's, who had much better control   
than Akane.  
A fighting force, though, meant leading at least a battalion.   
Was she really qualified to lead troops in battle, let alone a   
miniature army? Sure, she'd taught at a dojo, worked part-time as a   
short order chef and then as a head chef at a resturaunt, but those   
were small groups.  
Well, no time like the present to find out, as her sensei used to   
say.  
"All right. So how do I become it's keeper?" Ukyou inquired.  
"Just stand on the highest step. Once there, the Heart will   
start to glow." Lundar instructed.  
Lundar watched as Ukyou walked up on the highest stair and he   
felt the magic rising to touch her and confirm her as it's keeper.  
"It's glowing." Ukyou called down to him.  
Lunder continued his instruction, "Now, take one step forward."  
Ukyou stared at him.  
"You will not fall. The Heart is protected from everything so   
long as it's protective archways exist." Lundar explained.  
Ukyou was having doubts, but decided that he'd spun too elaborate   
of a tale to be lying. She stepped forward and felt something akin to   
stone beneath her foot. A swirl of green mana surrounded her.  
"You are now this Heart's keeper." Lundar explained.  
Ukyou had never felt more powerful in her life. She could feel   
as though all the power in the world flowed directly through her. She   
could heft yattais before, she felt as though she could heft mountains   
now.(1)  
"Don't get too overexcited, keeper. Though you now feel a lot of   
magic flowing through you, you are very much mortal. If you are slain,   
the Dungeon Heart can restore you to life, but that may take weeks or   
months, and armies can fall apart quite quickly without their leader to   
guide them." Lundar warned.  
"Right... right... gotta focus..." Ukyou replied, before a brief   
little fantasy of her tossing Shampoo and Cologne back to China ran   
through her head. She shook it off.  
"The power you will gain in conquering this land will be far   
greater than what you possess now." Lundar to her.  
"Conquer? I thought we were only after the Portal Gems." Ukyou   
inquired.  
"Indeed, but the people charged with guarding them are the very   
same in charge of controlling the land. If you kill or capture them,   
it's the same as conquering the land, now isn't it?" Lundar pointed   
out.  
Ukyou sighed. She didn't want to be a conquerer. This Keeper   
business was already getting complicated and she had yet to do   
anything.  
"Oh yes, if you want, there is a bedroom available to you where   
you can dress. I'm afraid it's mostly men's clothing, though, but the   
room now belongs to you, being the Heart's new keeper." Lundar said,   
motioning to a passageway to the right of the one he had entered by.  
Ukyou finally took note of her state of dress and was down the   
hallway faster than either Lundar or Horny could blink. When she was   
certain neither Lundar nor Horny could see her, or her face, which was   
now redder than Ranma's hair when he was female, she took in her new   
bedroom.  
Her new bedroom had a bed, but it was one and a half times longer   
and two times wider than a king-sized. It had luxurious silk sheets,   
silk-covered pillows and various top blankets for the seasons. The one   
on it at the current time was, as was to be expected, the silk blanket.  
On the left side of the room was a large liquor cabinet with   
numerous glasses in a cabinet just next to it. On the right was a   
large bath with a small privacy screen. And on the right side of the   
wall that the bed was against was a closet.  
Ukyou checked out the closest. Numerous bedroom robes, everyday   
outfits and, oddly enough, accessories like armor and capes. Decisions   
bombarded her. If she were going to be the sort of Keeper who   
conquered lands, she might as well look the part.  
When she re-emerged from her new room, she was wearing an   
enchanted chest plate, spiked shoulder guards, a long red cape that   
reached her ankles, blue jeans, ankle socks, a pair of sneakers and her   
ribbon down in it's usual fashion with a fake flower attached to the   
left side. She didn't know where they could've gotten such items,   
especially the jeans and sneakers, so she assumed that the wardrobe was   
altered in some regards to the keeper's knowledge.  
The jeans, sneakers and ribbon threw off the menacing look a bit,   
but she did manage a fairly no-nonsense attitude. She hoped.  
Then, she noticed the red guy that Lundar had called 'Horny' had   
left the room. While he looked like a stereotypical demon, he hadn't   
really disturbed her while she slept, so she sort of doubted that his   
name was attributed to his libido.  
"What's next?" Ukyou asked.  
"A spell, I think. We need minions to carry out your will, and   
imps are the easiest to make. They require no food, water or rest.   
They are maintained by your magic. As your land expands, you'll be   
able to summon more and more as time progresses." Lundar suggested.  
"Good idea. Make a few." Ukyou agreed.  
"I'm afraid I have nowhere near the magical talent that I used   
to, Keeper. Thus, you will have to make them." Lundar informed her,   
then hastily spoke again before Ukyou could protest, "It isn't hard,   
you simply have to imagine this rune and focus your magical power into   
it."  
Lundar held up a symbol written on a sheet of paper. It looked   
similar to a skull with long pointy ears. Ukyou closed her eyes and   
began imagining the rune and then mentally began sending power to it.  
"That's good, Keeper..." Lundar told her. He then repeated   
himself, "Keeper, that's good."  
A slightly panicked shout of "KEEPER!", startled Ukyou out of her   
concentration. She looked to see roughly twenty little green men close   
to half her height. Their heads were large with wide black eyes and   
pointy ears, but their little bodies were muscular. In one hand was a   
pickax for each imp and on their backs was a sack. The only other   
things they had were their loin cloth, a cross-shaped belt held the   
sack to it's back and tiny cloth boots.  
Ukyou whistled, "So, that spell makes twenty or something?"  
"You seem to have a great talent for magic, keeper. Most would   
have noticed creating twenty imps." Lundar replied, not mentioning that   
most keepers could barely manage five to start with.  
"So, uh, what do we do with them?" Ukyou asked.  
A magical map appeared in front of her.  
"That is a map of your realm. Your imps can see beyond the   
simple earth and what they see will be sent to this map. You can also   
command all creatures allied to you through this map. Our first order   
of business should be to create a lair and a hatchery. The lair will   
keep your other creatures well rested and will expediate healing while   
the hatchery keeps them fed with chickens. You need but imagine these   
symbols where you wish to create them, but your imps should dig out a   
suitable place, as each of these runes require at least a five to ten   
foot square." Lundar said, holding up a picture of a bed and a chicken   
for the lair and hatchery respectively.  
Ukyou closed her eyes and focused her will onto the map. The   
twenty imps leapt to work, digging and carving away at the nearest   
wall. The frenzied work ended ten minutes later. Lundar began to   
speak as the gold began vanishing around the Dungeon Heart, "Keeper, I   
should note that gold is required to create the runes for these rooms,   
and you can only use gold that your imps have collected and placed   
around your Dungeon Heart or into a treasury."  
"I know. I can feel it now. There's a consciousness that's   
guiding me.... teaching me how to make everything..." Ukyou began, her   
eyes still closed.  
Lundar arched an eyebrow. Well, it was true that most keepers   
didn't really need much from a mentor, but the mentors had the   
advantage of being able to watch for dangerous situations while the   
keeper slept.  
Suddenly, mana flared around Ukyou and she glared behind her at   
something, "You've overstayed your welcome, Keeper Daven. It's time   
for you to rest."  
With that, a lightning bolt struck a faint mist that had been   
forming behind Ukyou that Lundar hadn't noticed until the lightning   
struck it. Lundar gawked at Ukyou as he heard the name. Keeper Daven   
had been the last and only Keeper that he and Horny had served. That   
his old friend had still been present was startling to say the least.   
That Ukyou had just sent Daven to the afterlife was more surprising.  
Ukyou regarded her map. Instantly, the twenty imps split into   
teams of five, ten running out to where Horny had met Ukyou, five   
running back into the room with the lair and the hatchery, and the   
others digging at the wall opposite to the one that her imps had worked   
on.  
"This Dungeon Heart is mine." Ukyou declared, a vicious look in   
her eyes. Lundar took a step back from his new keeper in surprise,   
then inwardly smiled. He knew he was going to see another Skybird   
Trill occur.(2)  
  
It wasn't long before goblins began showing up. Goblins looked   
like taller and stupider looking imps, but they wore leather armor and   
carried swords, which were much better to fight with. The thing that   
really distinguished them was that they wore helmets with viking-style   
horns, but most of the helmets only had one. As Lundar had explained,   
they often stole armor from their natural enemies, the dwarves, but   
after vicious battles, things tended to get damaged.  
The goblins found their way to the magical lair and smiled as   
plush beds formed out of the floor, before heading off to raid the   
hatchery's batch of chickens.  
"Okay, I know what Goblins and Imps look like, but what the heck   
is Horny?" Ukyou inquired.  
"He's a Reaper, a proud race of powerful half-demons that thrived   
about six hundred years ago, until they faced the Avatar. After that,   
there was a battle between the Dark Gods a hundred and ten years later   
and they wound up getting slaughtered and replaced with Dark Angels.   
Horny, one of the brightest of the reapers, survived by making a pact   
with the former keeper of this Dungeon Heart, as did I, who magically   
linked us with the Dungeon Heart. As far as I know, he is among the   
last of his kind. Of course, the older Reapers looked much less human   
and were considerably more foul tempered." Lundar explained.  
Ukyou absorbed that knowledge as she continued to manipulate her   
imps. She growled at one imp that was simply standing around when   
there was gold to be mined one corridor over.  
"Over there, stupid!" Ukyou said, wishing the imp would move to   
the vein of gold.  
Suddenly the imp found itself standing in front of the vein.  
"What just happened?" Ukyou asked, blinking.  
"You've learned how to pick up a creature. You can pick up and   
drop creatures whereever you like, but be careful not to drop them too   
close to enemy forces, for the fall stuns some creatures more than   
others. Your imps are immune to it because they are entirely   
magical." Lundar explained.  
Ukyou blinked. She must have learned more from Daven than she   
thought. That or she'd just stumbled upon it accidentally. Either   
way, she still had a way to go.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
(1) Ranma didn't notice this as greatly in DK Ranma because he's been   
tapping a large amount of ki. Ukyou, on the other hand, has not   
accessed as much ki and is therefore less used to the large increase in   
non-physical power.  
  
(2) The Skybird Trill is a reference to the first DK series. It's   
where a hero on par with the reapers, the Avatar, lived. Obviously, it   
was destroyed by the end of the game.  
  
Why start this?  
If I can make Ranma even somewhat more evil than before, than I   
should be able to do the same to another character.  
Why not see what evils a Ranma character is capable of? And   
better yet, why not make it NOT FUCKING RANMA?  
I always wanted to see my personal favorite character from Ranma   
1/2 get the spotlight. Whenever someone gives Ukyou Kuonji the   
spotlight, it's usually angst-ridden or has to do with Ukyou eventually   
giving up on Ranma.  
Here, Ukyou is going to be even more devoted to getting back to   
Ranma. She's not the combat genius that Ranma is, but to compensate,   
I've given her a greater understanding of magic. She has a hidden   
magical genius as opposed to Ranma's combat genius.  
Now, what will happen when SHE gets home? Well, I'll leave the   
suspense here.  
I'm so evil. ^_^ 


	2. Dungeon Keeper Ukyou 2

The knights frowned as they dismounted. The fort should have   
been further along than three rows of stones for the outermost walls, a   
lot of tamped down land and a staircase that led down and out of sight.  
"Lord Antonious?" the youngest and newest knight, Benjamin,   
called.  
"He's obviously not up here, otherwise he would have greeted us,   
Benjamin. Go and check his basement. We'll look around." his senior,   
Kevin, ordered.  
Benjamin sighed. Being the youngest, he was given the most shit   
work when there weren't any squires to hand it off to. He began   
walking past the wall towards the gaping hole that led below ground   
when he caught sight of something in the wild grass that hadn't yet   
been removed.  
"Hey, isn't this a dwarven axe?" Benjamin asked, hefting the   
object by it's wooden handle.  
Ian and David agreed. The dwarves were the only ones who   
regularly had double-headed axes.  
"But there's no body or any blood stains on either the axe or the   
ground, meaning they dropped it. And we all know that a dwarf would   
sooner part with bread than part with his axe, so something must have   
spooked them but good." Kevin commented.  
Benjamin held the axe in his left hand as he descended into the   
basement of Lord Antonious' 'keep', drawing his sword with his right.   
There were only two rooms. The first was supposedly a food storage,   
but it had been picked clean. The other was for the Hero Gate, which   
allowed the king's men to enter and begin tunnelling for keepers.  
The Hero Gate was destroyed and Lord Antonious lay dead not five   
feet away. Benjamin glanced about the area nervously, prodding the   
walls to test if there were any secret doors or hidden traps. Finally,   
when he couldn't find even one door or trap, he sheathed his sword and   
examined the fallen lord's body.  
The cuts were surrounded by dents or bruises, implying that the   
weapon or weapons used had been somewhat dull or at least not sharpened   
to the degree that Benjamin's own blade was.  
He sighed. Goblins. They were one of the few races that   
possessed swords, but lacked the knowledge of keeping the swords sharp.   
Unless they worked with a troll, they tended to bludgeon opponents half   
to death, while nicking them the rest of the way.  
Benjamin growled. Not good news. Goblins and dwarves hated each   
other with a vengence, but goblins alone wouldn't have been enough to   
scare dwarves away. Meaning that something bigger and nastier had been   
down here and that implied a Keeper.  
Benjamin headed up the stairs. They needed to head for Lord   
Darius' keep and alert the lord of the presense of a keeper.  
  
Ukyou couldn't help but notice the inherent flaws of the standard   
training rooms. Which, while versatile in the number of targets, there   
was no real threat and the only things one truly gained from training   
in one was mostly endurance and strength. Some speed came from dodging   
the heavy maces attached to the arms of the training dummies, but   
ultimately, it was very limited. The moving targets on the wall taught   
the marksmen and warlocks how to hit opponents that moved, but   
ultimately, it was futile.  
Which was why she changed the training room into something   
more... useful. It'd taken her a bit of effort, but her control of   
manifestations of her dungeon impressed even Lundar. Most keepers   
could only affect what appeared more often in say, a torture chamber.  
The goblins that entered her training room were a bit put off as   
the usual training gear was absent. In it's place were swinging maces   
dangling from the ceiling or sticking from the walls or floor, wooden   
dummies that had automated defenses, and occassional floating disk.   
And that was just the general area, there seemed to be some sort of   
track at the far end of the training room.  
"It's simple. Dodge the maces, hit the dummy, then run back."   
Ukyou explained.  
The goblins looked hesistantly at each other, before Bagor   
decided to try it. He raced forward, getting grazed by two of the   
swinging maces before striking the dummy and dashing back, this time   
getting struck in the right arm by a mace, which sent him tumbling to   
the floor.  
"See? Much more difficult and thus, better training." Ukyou   
declared, before healing Bagor, "Don't worry, I'll be on hand to heal   
you up."  
The goblins decided that if Bagor was confident enough to do it,   
they should try.  
  
The trip to Lord Darius' had been rather uneventful. The   
villages seemed quiet and peaceful, but Benjamin couldn't help but get   
the distinct feeling of resentment from the villagers that they'd   
passed on the road. The townsfolk _did_ seem a bit poorer than   
average.  
And it was quite obvious why as they reached Lord Darius' keep.   
A more appaling display of wasted money had yet to be seen by Benjamin   
as he saw statues, carvings and designs on almost everything in the   
castle.  
The group of knights were led into a dining hall that was massive   
and had two small banners for the King, but sixteen for Darius. As   
they were seated, Benjamin noticed further how much money Darius had   
wasted.  
The cups had elborate designs of dragons, tigers, wolves and   
such, and they _and_ the silver...nay, GOLDENware were the least   
extravagant items in the entire keep. Benjamin sat uneasily in his   
seat while his fellow knights seemed to take no notice. Servants   
entered with platters holding all but the finest of roasts and cooked   
chicken.  
"Pardon my delay. I just finished dealing with a number of   
artisans to carve my image in white marble." Lord Darius declared,   
smiling confidently as he strode into the dining hall.  
"It is of no trouble." Ian responded, both men missing Benjamin's   
angry glare.  
"Well, then, let's eat. We can discuss business when we're   
through." Darius answered.  
Benjamin picked half-heartedly at his meal. The meal itself was   
fine, but the golden utensils were a bit much. No, everything he'd   
seen was a bit much. Lord Darius was no doubt taxing his people as   
much as he could to make a grand display for visitors, when it was his   
people that he should be worried about. Though the people liked King   
Reginald, it was still possible for a lynch mob to storm the fort.  
Lord Avaricious was almost as bad. The lord had wasted most of   
the money given to him to build his fort on gambling. All he had   
managed to construct was a basement for his fort and some defenses.   
Were his land not filled with gold, it was likely that his men would've   
left instead of taking IOUs.  
"So, tell me, what is it that has brought you here?" Lord Darius   
inquired.  
"To tell the truth, Lord Darius, we bring news quite foul. It   
would seem that Lord Antonius was slain by goblins, and his men scared   
off by something even more terrifying. One dwarf even left his axe   
behind. The incident has the markings of a keeper all over it and we   
believe that you are the next probable target." Kevin explained.  
Lord Darius' smile faded, "That is indeed foul news. I'd best   
tell my men to begin searching for such a fiend, lest they ambush us as   
well."  
"We thank you for the meal. However, we must continue on. While   
you are indeed the next probable target, the other lords in the   
surrounding lands also need to be warned, in case the keeper tries to   
trick us all by moving at random." Ian stated.  
"Hmm, that is true. Fare thee well on your journey, good   
knights, and may the next time we meet be under more glad tidings."   
Lord Darius responded.  
Well, Benjamin reflected, Lord Darius had manners, at least. It   
didn't make up for what he was doing to the villages, but it proved   
that he wasn't without some good qualities.  
Ian turned to Kevin and Ben, "You two head to Lord Constantine's   
Keep Fear. I'll go and inform Lord Avaricious and David will contact   
Lord Ludwig."  
"Are you sure?" Ben inquired.  
"This news must be spread quickly. Messengers would move faster,   
but there's the threat of interception by monsters." Ian answered.  
The young knight had to agree. Even if the roads were peaceful,   
keepers could attack at any time.  
  
Ukyou took to the library with her warlocks. It was strange, but   
Lundar had gotten the feeling that she should study magic beyond what   
she would be able to use as a keeper.  
Lundar was even further impressed at her rate of growth in the   
magical arts, as she was wielding spells that even the mightiest of   
warlocks were incapable of using and some spells that were nigh-  
legendary back when the Avatar War occurred. Her skill at using spells   
was so great that she was capable of using spells at less than roughly   
10% of their normal cost with 100% of their effect.  
Such a promising keeper was going to be quite devastating when   
they began the campaigns. Even the Elite Royal Guard would not stand   
long against her.  
Ukyou, for her part, was growing more and more impatient. The   
spells were almost too easy to figure out. It was like reading a "See   
Dick Run" level book. Even her warlocks were astounded at how fast she   
was learning.   
Such was the might of their keeper.  
Lundar couldn't help but smile. A brilliant mind, powerful magic   
and with an army trained much better than average, they would surely   
crush the King's defenses like a boulder crushed an imp.  
Finally, Ukyou got fed up. She'd learned and committed to memory   
over two hundred spells in these last two weeks and both her goblins   
and warlocks had reached their limit of training using her facility.   
Even her newly created obstacle course, meant to teach teamwork and   
speed of action, were of little challenge to her minions. She knew how   
to make everything that she would need in the future, including a   
graveyard, prison and torture chamber.  
It was finally time to take care of Lord Darius and continue on   
her path back to her homeworld.  
  
Lord Darius was not fond of visiting the dwarves that were   
preparing the underground staging post, which would, in time, be used   
to send search parties to seek out and destroy evil keepers. The   
simple reason was that he disliked dwarves.  
He didn't hate them altogether, but they tended to be rather   
foul-mouthed and disrespectful to a lot of people, Lord Darius   
included. The only things they really liked were other dwarves and   
people who liked being underground. They simply tolerated everything   
else.  
That was the most critical and broad view of the dwarves. They   
also enjoyed good food, drink and anyone else who enjoyed the same   
thing was designated as "drinking buddy".  
One thing dwarves didn't particularly like as a group were   
pretentious twits, like Lord Darius, who wasted his money on a   
aesthetics first, his fashion second, everything else third or lower.   
It was one of the reasons they also didn't like elves, who seemed   
almost afraid to get dirty.  
But, they truly hated goblins, who'd learned that dwarves made   
good things, thus stealing from them got the goblins the same good   
things. Nearly every goblin clan had gotten half their armor and most   
of their sharper swords from dwarves.  
"How do it go?" Darius inquired.  
The dwarven captain, Gerwall, turned to Darius, "We're almost   
complete. The gate's support pillars just have to be inspected again   
and then the roof can be placed on it."  
"Good, good, and be on the lookout for keepers. Send word if you   
see even an imp." Lord Darius began loudly before crouching and   
whispering to the captain, "Word has it that a keeper killed Lord   
Antonius and _something_ scared his dwarves enough for some to leave   
their weapons behind."  
Captain Gerwall frowned. Dwarves hated leaving behind weapons   
because every dwarf knew how long it took to make a good weapon. It   
took days to make a good weapon from scratch and only a minute to lose   
it to some thieving goblin.  
Lord Darius returned to his full height, "In any event, should   
evil keepers stalk our land, it is my duty as it's Lord to strike it   
down."  
Lord Darius turned and returned to his keep, leaving Captain   
Gerwall something to consider.  
  
Benjamin had not been feeling too confident when Kevin had made   
the suggestion that he instead go to see Lord Ironhelm. Benjamin had   
tried protesting, but Kevin was, while only by a single year, still   
older than him and thus, was designated as their 'leader'.  
No, he wasn't feeling confident at all.  
Then again, it was nice to be alone. After all, his fellow   
knights weren't around to impress their opinions or shit work on him   
and he felt one knight riding through town was more likely to be   
ignored as an everyday sort of occurance. There was no need to worry   
the townsfolk into thinking that a battle group was needed to deal with   
anything.  
It was getting late, though. He decided to stop at an inn for   
the night. He climbed off his horse and led it to the stable. An   
eager stableboy appeared.  
"How much to take care of his for tonight?" Benjamin inquired.  
"Six silver, sire." the stableboy answered.  
"I'm a knight, not a Lord, boy. Take good care of him." Benjamin   
responded, handing the boy a gold piece.  
"But, sire, this is way too much-" the stableboy began.  
"Keep it." Benjamin told the boy.  
"Thank you, milord!" the stableboy called to him.  
Benjamin walked towards the inn proper and was glad to take his   
helmet off. It was comfortable for the first half-hour, but a   
nightmare in the midday sun. Unfortunately, he had to get used to   
wearing in all sorts of weather in case monsters attacked. He couldn't   
afford to stop in battle to take off his helmet and wipe his brow.  
As he entered, he took notice of the low patronage. There were a   
few goblins in the inn, but so long as they didn't cause trouble, most  
humanoids were allowed into small towns like this. There was also a   
person wearing an all-concealing brown robe sitting in a secluded   
corner, no doubt either trying to be inconspicuous or trying to draw   
attention. The latter occurred more often by accident.  
The goblins seemed nervous at his presense and though the robed   
figure didn't appear to be nervous, Benjamin could tell that they'd   
gripped their mug's handle a bit tighter. No doubt, both groups   
expected him to start something.  
"Innkeeper, a room. I don't care what it's like, so long as the   
bed is clean." Benjamin told the man at the bar.  
"I'll get a boy on it right away." the innkeeper answered   
quickly, no doubt equally nervous that trouble may start, "Can I get   
you anything else?"  
"Aye, a round for the entire house." Benjamin declared, handing   
the innkeeper four gold coins.  
The innkeeper looked at him nervously and whispered, "Shall I-"  
"Whatever you can pour in the open. I have been riding all day   
and the last thing I desire is any kind of trouble. I'd rather take a   
nap in your stable than start anything." Benjamin answered, loud enough   
for the entire inn to hear.  
With that, Benjamin found a seat facing away from the door and   
sat down, before setting his helmet on the table, reclining slightly   
and closing his eyes. He could sense that the goblins and the   
myserious robed person had relaxed when the barkeep poured their mugs   
in the open. The tension had been cut in half.  
"Milord..." the innkeeper began.  
"Is that room ready?" Benjamin asked, opening his eyes with some   
effort.  
The innkeeper nodded.  
"Very well, then, I shall retire." Benjamin stated, standing,   
collecting his helmet and following the innkeeper to the prepared   
bedroom.  
  
The battle had been short and brutal. There were mighty dwarven   
warriors, make no mistake, but none were in Lord Darius' employment.  
Lord Darius himself had been surprised at how powerful the   
goblins and warlocks had been, prior to his death. Ordinarily, when   
goblins and warlocks worked together, there were always a few mishaps,   
fireballs hitting goblins instead of dwarves, or goblins not protecting   
warlocks from a charge, allowing the heroes to capitalize on the mistakes and win the battle.  
There had been no mistakes. The warlocks gave warnings, allowing   
the goblins to duck or move aside, and the goblins blocked passage to   
all. And that had been just their tactics. Their actual fighting   
skills had been astonishing.  
Normal goblins charged and beat at an opponent until they or   
their foe were dead. The goblins under the keeper's control had slid   
in, struck quickly, then backed away before counteracts could be made,   
only to repeat the tactic again and again, inbetween dodging fireballs.  
Sadly, Lord Darius was rotting in a graveyard while his keep was   
being captured and his dwarves were being converted.  
Ukyou had been a bit uneasy about actual killing. However, as   
Lundar had pointed out, the likelyhood of Lord Darius joining her were   
low. And even if he did join, he would likely be more of a problem   
than an aid.  
The keep had literally no defenses, save the dwarves and Darius.   
Literally no one else had any fighting capability at all. Which had   
been quite pitiful.  
The keep was well designed, but as Ukyou surveyed her winnings,   
she found herself ordering imps to take everything Darius had purchased   
and put it to better use. The banners would become sewing thread to   
repair clothing, the gold would be melted into coins, the kitchen staff   
would make normal meals and the scupltures would be sold to merchants   
who wanted them.  
"The second portal gem is now ours." Lundar declared.  
"That's nice." Ukyou responded, non-chalantly.  
"You don't seem too pleased, keeper." Lundar commented.  
"Sorry, it's just that... this guy's keep looks like the innards   
alone cost millions more than the construction. And to think that he   
was supposed to be responsible for guarding all of Sing Song against   
keepers, when all he had to defend it were some dwarves and himself."   
Ukyou commented.  
"Indeed. With all the money that went into purchasing all this,   
he could have hired an entire battalion of mercenaries to do his   
fighting for him." Lundar agreed.  
"And we wouldn't have done nearly as well." Ukyou commented.  
Lundar murmurred an agreement, "Lord Antonius at least had the   
excuse that his keep was still under construction."  
  
It hadn't taken Benjamin very long to eat or head into the city   
to buy food for his trip and it had taken even less time to figure out   
that he was being followed by the mysterious robed figure from the   
previous night.  
It was usually the case when one did nothing that was expected   
that one attracted attention. Benjamin had drawn the attention of the   
mysterious figure by not starting a fight and instead buying everyone   
drinks before going to bed and actually sleeping.  
However, the town was rather busy that morning and as Benjamin   
turned a corner with his food in a handy sack, he bumped into the   
mysterious figure, knocking them onto their rump and causing their hood   
to fall back, revealing a rather beautiful woman. He also caught a   
small glimpse of black latex boots, indicating that the woman was   
likely a Mistress.  
"I'm so sorry, I should have looked where I was going." Benjamin   
apologized before helping the woman up.  
"Good day." Benjamin told her, stepping around and heading for   
the stable where he'd left his horse.  
He stopped when he felt arms wrap around his torso and a blade   
press against his throat, "You did that on purpose."  
"No, I did that by accident. I knew you were following me, but   
as I said the night before, I have no desire to start a fight."   
Benjamin answered calmly.  
"Don't give me that. Every other knight-" she began.  
"That's every other knight. I am _not_ every other knight. I   
have no desire to start a quarrel." Benjamin answered, resuming his   
walk to the stables.  
"Stop!" she yelped, moving her claws away from his throat, before   
she lost her grip on him and fell to her rump again. He paused and   
turned back to her. He gripped her by the shoulders and hoisted her up   
to her feet, before letting her go.  
"I told you, I have no desire to start a quarrel." Benjamin told   
her, before turning back and walking to the stables.  
She watched him leave and retracted her claws, before stroking   
her chin thoughtfully. He had been telling the truth the entire time,   
especially the part about not being like every other knight. Any other   
knight would have attacked her right back the instant she tailed or   
threatened them.  
He was definitely worth watching, she decided with a smile. Oh   
yes, he would be worth watching. When Dominique found someone   
interesting, they rarely disappointed her.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next time on Dungeon Keeper Ukyou!  
Ukyou's assault continues with Lord Avaricious and Lord Ludwig!  
Kevin finds out a disturbing fact about Lord Constantine!  
Benjamin meets with Lord Ironhelm and continues on!  
And we find more alterations to Ukyou's dungeon! 


	3. Dungeon Keeper Ukyou 3

Ukyou growled in frustration. She'd expanded her treasury six   
times, each time adding a good quarter to the size of the treasury.   
She was STILL out of room for money. And she couldn't expand much with   
all the solid rock in the way.  
Even with all of her extravagant spending on the various rooms   
and holding as much as she could in her Dungeon Heart's magical hand,   
she still needed room.  
She'd gone back and made a door for every room. Cost: 168,000 gold.  
Still not enough.  
She'd hired a number of mercenaries. Cost: 83,000 gold.  
Not quite enough.  
She'd trained the mercenaries. Cost: 174,000 gold.  
Almost enough.  
She'd recommissioned Lord Darius' planned marble statue, but   
changed the order into a statue of herself. Cost: 28,000 gold.  
She FINALLY had enough room in her treasury. Barely.  
Total amount spent: 453,000 gold. Almost half a million.  
"Gah... this guy DID waste money by the tons!" Ukyou declared.  
"At least we will be well off for a while." Lundar noted.  
"Yeah. And with this keep and the surrounding villages under my   
command, we can start building an army above ground as well as below   
ground. A well planned two-pronged attack can crush almost any foe."   
Ukyou responded.  
Ukyou looked up at the sky and wondered if Ranma would still be   
there when she got back.  
  
Kevin, knight of the realm, was sorely disappointed at the sight   
of Lord Constantine, who, by the looks of it, was already quite tanked   
and it was hardly noon. He'd been forced to stay the night as everyone   
had told him that Lord Constantine didn't get up once he retired for   
the evening and Kevin saw, very clearly, why that was so.  
"Yea shay theresh a keepy looky 'bout?" Lord Constantine   
inquired, blinking a number of times before letting out a low belch,   
the stench of which hit Kevin full in the fact, despite the fact that   
Kevin was standing a good ten feet away. The distance was a bit more   
than what was expected, but he did not wish to get any closer or he'd   
likely faint.  
"Yes." Kevin answered, trying to contain his disgust and   
revulsion.  
Lord Darius may have been a pompous twit who'd worry more about   
how he looked rather than how well defended his land was, but at least   
he wasn't an obvious embarrassment to the title granted to him by King   
Reginald.  
Of course, he was probably better off than Ian, who was going to   
meet Lord Avaricious again. If it weren't known that there was plenty   
of gold in his realm, Lord Avaricious' habit of handing out IOUs would   
likely be less tolerated than it was.  
A quick glance at Lord Constantine's aides showed either dull   
grimaces of embarrassment or bored disgust. No doubt, each had been   
putting up with Lord Constantine's alcohol problems for a while.  
"DAT'SH NO PROBREM! I'sh gotsh me desesh wizardsh, shee, and dey   
madesh me shome of desesh Fear Trapsh. Dey keepsh ANYone who'din   
triesh to and getsh in here running AAAAAAAaaaaallllll de way home."   
Lord Constantine slurred out, before letting loose with a teeth-  
rattling belch.  
Kevin was very tempted to yell at Lord Constantine as the lord   
began whining to the maid next to him for more wine. But, it was   
neither his place, nor was his input likely to get the lord to stop   
drinking anytime soon.  
"Lord Constantine, I'd suggest that you at least pay attention to   
the land around your keep, because though few keepers are in this area,   
there will be some who can bypass your fear traps." Kevin warned.  
Kevin turned and headed for his room. He would have to stay to   
aid the defense as Lord Constantine had proven himself incompetent.  
Lord Constantine turned to a shield on the wall, "Hey, Shara...   
why'sh don't you go maaaahhhh-" Lord Constantine stopped to let out   
another vile belch that likely would have proceeded vomit had he not   
gulped it back down, "make shure heee getsh to hish bedroom okey-  
dokey."  
The woman he'd been trying to address, Sara, answered from the   
other side of Lord Constantine's chair, "I'd be glad to."  
Lord Constantine jerked violently away from her, falling flat on   
his face. He raised a hand in the air with one finger extended   
(presumably he meant to extend his index finger, but no one knew for   
sure), and declared loudly in a muffled voice, "BMON'T MVOVE BIKE HAT!"  
A few seconds later, he began snoring loudly, drooling on the   
carpet. Sara stepped over his body, pausing to glance at the other   
servants questioningly, then kicked Constantine hard in the ass. She   
was awarded with quiet applause from everyone still conscious.  
She bowed, swept a stray lock of short silver hair back behind   
her right ear and turned. She kicked backwards, hitting Constantine in   
the rump again, then exited the room as the guards in the room seized   
Lord Constantine and carried the unconscious lord back to his bedroom,   
where he would remain until the next morning.  
"Sir Kevin." Sara called out.  
Kevin turned to see the dark-skinned woman who'd been standing   
next to Lord Constantine. Her hair was short and silver, with a most   
of it being swept forward. She wore a rather elegant black silk   
cheongsam with shoulderless sleeves, thigh-high stockings and polished   
black boots.  
He had noticed her, but his instant disgust with Constantine had   
kept his eyes from truly viewing her. She was quite beautiful,   
especially with her soft supple figure and elven ears. Kevin bit his   
tongue before his elven fetish could manifest further and decided to   
respond, "Yes?"  
"Lord Constantine ordered me to see you to your chambers...   
shortly before he 'retired' to his own room. My name is Sara, I work   
as the captain of the guard for Keep Fear and as it's secondary Lord   
when Lord Constantine has... 'retired' as he frequently does." Sara   
explained.  
"Nice to meet you, even if meeting your... Lord... was barely   
worth the trouble." Kevin responded.  
"I know he has become a pig of a man." Sara began.  
There was silence as she and Kevin started towards his room.  
"You know, most people follow that sentence up with a view of the   
subject's good qualities or a redeeming anecdote." Kevin stated.  
"I know. Lord Constantine has none. He was a cowardly and   
gutless man who broke down and cried the instant any difficult   
situation or even light tension was within the vicinity of his notice.   
By comparison, what you've seen is moderately better as we no longer   
have to put up with his crying or indecision." Sara responded.  
"I don't mean to pry, but your complexion and ears indicate that   
you are a dark elf, but your frame is much more muscular." Kevin noted.  
"I'm a half-dark elf. From my dark elven mother, I received an   
extended lifespan, increased hearing, nightvision, dexterity and my   
complexion. But from my human father, I got my endurance, strength and   
metabolism." Sara explained.  
"I wish I got anything from my mother." Kevin replied.  
"You're a half-elf as well?" Sara inquired.  
"Yes. My mother was a sylvan elf, but save for slightly better   
than most vision in the dark and some better than average hearing, I   
got everything from my father. You'd hardly know to look at me that I   
have any elven blood in me." Kevin answered.  
"Well, considering the treatment I get by general society, I   
would've given anything to be more like my father." Sara stated.  
"Hey now, that's no way to go about life. Who cares what society   
thinks? Anyone who can't appreciate beauty such as yours should just   
jump in a lava stream." Kevin responded.  
Sara blushed.  
  
Ian was not having fun. By comparison, putting up with Lord   
Constantine would have been like prancing with nymphs by a waterfall.   
Lord Avaricious was a putz. Whereas Lord Constantine was a drunken   
spineless twit, Lord Avaricious was a pandering bootlicking maggot.   
Ian could barely restrain himself from trying to squish the Lord   
beneath his boot.  
Why were all of the lords furtherest away from the King always   
such scum? (answer: The king keeps the loyal and the best closest to   
him.)  
Had his minions not been assigned their armor and weaponry by the   
king (and thus it could not be sold without causing great disgrace to   
the one responsible), Ian was sure that they would've been naked and   
unarmed by now.  
"A Keeper?!" Lord Avaricious inquired, suddenly energized at   
Ian's message.  
"Indeed. Whomever it was killed Lord Antonious and I've heard   
that Lord Darius' land has been taken as well." Ian responded.  
Lord Avaricious stroke his chin thoughtfully, "Wasn't there a   
reward for destroying Keepers, placed by the King himself a while   
back?"  
"Yes. Quite a hefty sum at that." Ian answered.  
Ian politely decided not to tell Lord Avaricious that it had been   
placed on Nemesis and his most loyal keepers, but knowing Lord   
Avaricious, he would likely spin-doctor it enough to claim the reward.  
His remaining warriors all looked almost feral at the mention of   
reward. Ian could swear he heard the nearest knight mutter, "at last,   
no more washing dishes before and after eating at a resturaunt!"  
"Perhaps you would like to stay and aid us in our battle. We   
could split the reward with you and perhaps even a bit extra when we   
can effectively mine the gold that fills these caverns. Besides, did   
you not say that your fellow knights were already warning the other   
Lords?" Lord Avaricious offered.  
Ian considered his options. It would be quite rude to flat out   
refuse, but Ian was having trouble thinking up a decent excuse to   
decline with. He cursed at himself for his honesty earlier in the   
conversation. However, the weary men in Avaricious' kee-er, basement   
would need all the morale they could muster if they were to face a   
keeper. Then, he remembered something and came to a brilliant   
solution.  
"I will stay for a few days, but I am afraid that I cannot stay   
for too long. After all, I am to report to Lord Bramble as a permanent   
member of his guard. Should this Keeper not show in that time, I am   
afraid I will have to leave regardless of my desire to see that   
reward." Ian explained.  
"Very well then. Let us hope this keeper shows it's self soon."   
Lord Avaricious answered.  
[Yes, before I grow too disgusted with you and try to crush you   
beneath my boot.] Ian thought.  
  
When someone (or something) is declared an elite by their society   
(or if they simply show themselves superior to the average in every   
way), that person (or thing) does not remain alone. Quite often, there   
are a number of others whom quickly follow and are also declared elite.   
These elites, either by choice or by societal pressure, each formed a   
group that met regularly.  
Because they could not go to these meetings, the commoners could   
only speculate what happened during these timely meetings. Most   
believed that the elites went to share fighting techniques or learn   
about new ways of killing things.  
In truth, that sort of thing did happen every four to seven   
meetings or so, but the rest of the time, it was mostly about bragging   
and story swapping. Only the goodly wizards and monks bothered with   
the official business more regularly and even then, it was not long   
before they too began story swapping.  
Indeed, the elites of combatative societies may look dignified,   
calm, collected or otherwise quiet when on the job, but once they came   
to the meetings (each group had their own timetable as to how often and   
where), they pretty much did their level best to make themselves look   
awesome amongst peers or rag on those that irritated them.  
And no exception were the Mistress elites.  
"...and then he was all like, 'Hey, baby, I pay your fees! Let's   
see some more of that ass!'. So, I just left. I swear, Gornigan is   
one of the most disgusting keepers I've ever met." Morrigan declared.  
"Oh, that's nothing. You should've seen the creepy looks I was   
getting from Kronos. Gornigan at least doesn't drool openly." Tesse   
replied.  
"Hey, Dominique, you've been pretty quiet. No new intrigues?"   
Karin asked.  
"Actually, there's one I'm hunting right now. He's a knight, but   
he's very unusual. I was relaxing in a bar and there were some goblins   
nearby, but he refused to start a fight. In fact, he bought us all   
drinks and then went to bed." Dominique responded.  
"Hmm, he might have been tired." Morrigan declared.  
"Yes, I thought so too. So, I tailed him. He knew I was tailing   
him, but when I threatened him, he refused to start a fight, even after   
I put my claws to his throat." Dominique commented.  
"Very peculiar. Might make for an interesting pet indeed."   
Morrigan agreed.  
"So, is he handsome?" Karin asked.  
"I've seen better, but he's not repulsive." Dominique answered.  
"Then we'll be looking forward to seeing him." Morrigan declared.  
  
Benjamin looked up at the enormous tower, surrounded by a heavy   
fortifications and wondered what in the world Lord Ironhelm had been   
thinking making the tower tall instead of wide. After all, the land of   
Sweetwater was mostly expansive grassy plains with two rivers and a few   
hills, so it wasn't like there wasn't room to expand.  
Still, he had a message to deliver, not a commentary.  
However, no one had called down to him in quite a while and he'd   
been waiting for over twenty minutes. Finally, annoyed, he called out,   
"HELLO! I HAVE AN URGENT MESSAGE FOR LORD IRONHELM!"  
Save for the gate suddenly opening, there was no response.   
Frowning, Benjamin walked through the gateway. He glanced around, but   
found nary a soul. The gate closed abruptly the instant he and his   
horse were two feet inside.  
He walked his horse over to a nearby hitch. After quietly   
hitching his horse, he turned and headed for the tower's main door.   
Again, he waited, even after knocking rather loudly, but no one   
answereed the door.  
"Will someone please open the door? I need to speak with Lord   
Ironhelm!" Benjamin called out.  
Like the gate, the door opened on it's own with nary a person in   
sight. Benjamin wondered what sorcery could have accomplished such a   
feat.  
Sighing angrily, he began up the stairs, hoping that he'd find   
someone allied with Lord Ironhelm that was still alive and dreading   
that he might find an ambush.  
  
David was, like the others, not enjoying his time with Lord   
Ludwig.  
However, unlike the other lords, upon hearing that a keeper was   
in the area, Lord Ludwig promptly smashed the only bridge into or out   
of his keep, meaning that David was now stuck with a cowardly moron who   
hadn't yet realized that they could no longer get any more food or   
drinkable water.  
The truth was, David was actually impressed that Lord Ludwig   
hadn't already curled up into a ball, sucking on his thumb and   
whimpering to be cradled. The man was more spineless than Lord Darius   
was wasteful. And considering the wastefulness of Lord Darius, that   
was quite an insult.  
To whittle the time away, the guards had decided to play 'Craps'.   
The reason the game was called so was because of what most people   
yelled while playing, but also because it was a rather crappy game.  
One played Craps for three reasons: 1) They'd rigged the game, 2)   
They were ignorant enough to think they could win, or 3) They were paid   
to make the people in the second category feel better about losing   
their money on a rigged game. After all, everyone hated to be a loser,   
but a loser often felt better when there were other losers.  
David was not playing Craps. He was playing Solitaire. He'd   
been wasting a lot of time, because he wasn't cheating. Indeed,   
cheating would have finished the game quickly and it was less boring   
than watching two or three guards con their 'buddies' out of their pay.  
He didn't feel like breaking up the game by revealing that it was   
rigged because, though that would be very fun for a while, but then the   
other guards would whine and complain about having nothing to do   
because stupid Lord Ludwig had destroyed the bridge, then Ludwig would   
hear and take offense, and cut everyone's pay, causing everyone to   
become even more depressed.  
Finally, someone would blame David for breaking up the Craps game   
(as that lead to Ludwig cutting their pay), and he'd be eating the   
moldier bread, having rats dropped in his soup intentionally by someone   
other than the chef, and he'd likely have to put up with a large number   
of childish pranks.  
No, solitaire without cheating was definitely less boring than   
that.  
But it certainly wasn't very good.  
David sighed and lamented that no one had invented something   
small and flashy that could eat up time better than stupid card games.  
  
Ben flung open the next door and looked around. Ordinarily, he   
would have cautiously opened the door and backed away, doing his level   
best to catch sight of someone or something before they could ambush   
him.  
That was roughly a hundred and thirty six doors ago. Now, he was   
simply looking for something that was living, dead, decomposing or   
otherwise that would indicate that something had been in the keep after   
it's construction. Every room was completely bare. Were there not   
doors, Ben would have expected the tower to have been under   
construction still.  
The other things that indicated that lifeforms were still in the   
tower were the torches lining every wall, but Ben was beginning to   
think those were magical in nature.  
Still nothing.  
Ben growled in frustration, walking to the next door and kicking   
it open. And the next and the next and the one after both of those.   
The exact same results.  
"WHERE IN THE NINETEEN HELLS AND THE GRAND HELL IS LORD   
IRONHELM?!" Ben roared angrily.  
"Top floor. First door." came a genderless voice from nowhere.  
Ben did a slow turn and glared in the direction that he'd heard   
the voice come from.  
"I hate you." Ben told the voice.  
He began walking up the stairs, heading for the top floor.  
  
Ukyou gazed at the next two lords she planned to attack: Lord   
Avaricious and Lord Constantine. She'd box in Lord Ludwig and finish   
him off before continuing. Their defenses weren't much better than   
Darius'. The only problem in taking them out lay in the fact that Lord   
Constantine had fear traps, that only skeletons and vampires could   
ignore.  
Ukyou had a graveyard, but she was unwilling to deliberately kill   
people and leave them to rot. The same went for her prison. Even as   
much as she had said that she'd get revenge on Ranma and Genma, revenge   
had never constituted killing. She might have declared it a few times,   
but like many people, beating people up was about all she ever really   
wanted.  
So, she would just have to break them from afar. Her warlocks   
were definitely capable of it, as were her new Dark Elves and   
Mistresses. Her new mercenary wizards, fairies and sylvan elves could   
also be added to the list.  
It would not be easy taking on both Lords so quickly, but she   
needed to speed up her return. She couldn't cut corners with the   
training of her minions, though, as that could prove dangerous in the   
campaign.  
There was no question that taking on both lords was going to be   
pretty draining, meaning that she would likely have to slow down her   
pace.  
But it had to be done if she was to get home within a decade.  
Or at least, that's what she'd thought. So far, she'd crushed   
Avaricious without really trying. Most of his men had been weak from   
eating only one meal a day. There had been a single knight who HADN'T   
been starved, but he was overwhelmed by the combination of dark elven   
quarrels, fireballs and a few thrown imps (she would've scolded her   
Bile Demons for doing that if it hadn't been so effective and the imps   
were no worse for wear either way). Once he was beaten, she merely had   
to concentrate on Keep Fear.  
Lord Constantine's forces were MUCH better organized, but not   
much better off as they had to trudge through waist-deep water to get   
to Ukyou's forces, who pelted them with attacks (and the occassional   
imp). Ukyou's only real obstacle were the fear traps, which she'd found had been annoyingly placed around corners so that it was impossible to aim at them without going within their range of effect.  
Luckily, the land had provided. It seemed that there were a few   
skeletons in a prison that was already around Keep Fear. Once trained   
up, they'd provided an effective force for destroying the ten rows of   
fear traps.  
Once inside the Keep's basement, she herself in the lead, they   
met ten knights, a dark elf and Lord Constantine, who quivered with   
fear, as if he himself were trying to attack a fear trap and failing.  
"Wh-wh-what do you want?" Lord Constantine whimpered.  
Behind him, Ukyou could see all of the knights and the dark elf   
react with disgust, covering their faces with a hand.  
"The Portal Gem. Hand it over and we'll let you live." Ukyou   
responded.  
"DEAL!" Lord Constantine declared, before receiving a solid thump   
in the ass from the dark elf, "YIPE! I mean, maybe-" *THUMP* "OW! I   
mean, not now-" *THUMP* "AIE! ... perhaps this evening-" *THUMP*   
"ACK!" He turned to hiss at the dark elf, "stop doing that!"  
"NO!" She replied.  
"I mean 'no'." Lord Constantine managed to state, looking   
somewhat pleased, like a child who'd just been coached through a   
reading book and could understand it. Perhaps it was because the dark   
elf hadn't kicked in him in the rump again.  
"Then you'll have to die." Ukyou decided aloud.  
The goblins and skeletons began gnashing their teeth and   
murmurring, as if they were preparing for a real treat. The dark elves   
took aim with their crossbows while the warlocks began muttering   
incantations.  
"I GIVE UP!" Lord Constantine yelled, throwing his sword to the   
ground and kneeling.  
Again, the knights and the dark elf on Lord Constantine's side   
covered their faces, this time adding in loud groans of disgust.  
"FINE! We surrender as well, on the condition that no one in the   
Keep is slain..." the dark elf declared.  
Most of the knights murmurred in angry, yet hushed tones. Lord   
Constantine sighed in relief.  
"...save Lord Constantine." the dark elf added.  
The knight murmurred again, this time their murmurs were   
approving and they were nodding vigorously.  
Lord Constantine's face turned white as a sheet. Ukyou   
considered the offer, looking the dark elf in the eye, trying to see   
any sign of falsehood and saw none.  
"Fine, kill the Lord, no one else." Ukyou agreed.  
The knights drew their blades and charged, but not at Ukyou's   
forces, but rather their own lord. They started by kicking the Lord a   
few times each, then began raining blows down on him with their swords.  
Ukyou and her forces could only gape in shock and utter dismay.  
Sad as it was to say, Lord Ludwig's forces had provided little   
resistance as well. By the time she had attacked the main keep, the   
entire force was so ill from the crappy chef's food or weak from hunger   
that they weren't in a position to really defend themselves, save Lord   
Ludwig, who'd stashed away a large amount of jerky and had subsisted on   
that.  
Those who weren't barfing up their guts into the moat were busy   
bum-rushing the Lord in vengence.  
Lord Ludwig met the same grisly demise as Lord Constantine, only   
there was more bludgeoning in Ludwig's case as his men were too weak to   
lift much more than a dagger.  
  
Benjamin entered the room and looked about. It looked like a   
darkened study, the bookshelfs and their books just barely visible from   
a combination of the hallway torchlight and the fireplace light.   
Between him and the fireplace was a single chair. Benjamin arched an   
eyebrow as he approached the chair hesitantly.  
For some reason, he became self-conscious of the amount of noise   
his boots were making against the floor. Despite the light crackles   
and snap from the fireplace, his boots seemed to echo with a   
maddeningly loud effect.  
Finally, he arrived at the chair's side and he looked down to see   
an old man wearing a bathrobe sitting in the chair. He blinked.  
"Is this Lord Ironhelm?" Benjamin asked aloud as he looked at the   
man who had to be well into his December years, not the twenty-  
something Lord Ironhelm who had commisioned and built the tower. He   
was bald on top with long hair circling the crown of his head and his   
bathrobe was a fade marroon with a gold ropetie. His white beard alone   
was near his ankles.  
"Mmmm? Someone ask for me?" the old man inquired, opening his   
eyes and looking up at Benjamin, "Ah, King Reginald has sent a   
replacement, has he?"  
"Are you Lord Ironhelm?" Benjamin asked.  
"That they did. Mmmm, but that was a long time ago. Mmmm, oh,   
wait, that's right, you weren't here...." Lord Ironhelm responded,   
before letting out a rasping breath that almost sounded like it would   
be his last, "that's why you wouldn't know."  
"Know?" Benjamin requested of the aging lord.  
Lord Ironhelm smacked his lips, blanching a bit at the foul taste   
in his mouth, "We uncovered an ancient ruin near here, one made by the   
elves long ago. Terrible thing, it was."  
"What was it?" Benjamin prompted gently.  
"Mmm... what was the darn thing... oh, yes. It was an age   
advancement thingy. Meant for war time, to get their children ready   
for combat. It creates a field that accelerates time." Lord Ironhelm   
explained, "One of my wizards was messing around with the fool thing   
and next thing we all know, *poof*, we're inside this accelerated   
dimension. We musta been in there for a good forty to sixty years.   
Woulda been nothing to an elf, but it's mosta life fer a human. I was   
the only one who survived it all."  
"Lord Ironhelm, are there any defenses for this keep still   
remaining?" Benjamin asked.  
"O'course... just ask the magic voice. It'll arm'em." Lord   
Ironhelm responded, "Now... if you don't... mind... I think... I would   
like to rest..."  
With that, Lord Ironhelm closed his eyes one final time.   
Benjamin looked around. To have lived alone for so long... no wonder   
most of the items were gone. They probably would have been destroyed   
or put away so as not to remind them of their folly.  
"Magic voice?" Benjamin queried.  
"Yes?" the voice inquired back.  
"There's going to be a Keeper attacking this keep soon. Do you   
know what they are?" Benjamin asked.  
The voice answered unhesitatingly, "Yes I do. I have all the   
knowledge of the mage who created me to assist Lord Ironhelm."  
"Good, I need you to prepare all of the defenses while I bury   
Lord Ironhelm. Once I exit the keep, attack any keeper creatures or   
anything that's openly hostile. Anyone who has the banner of any of   
the other Lords or King Reginald should be allowed in, as well as any   
villagers. You must explain to any of those that I listed as to what   
has transpired." Benjamin requested.  
"Very well." the voice responded.  
  
=======================================================================  
  
Next time on Dungeon Keeper Ukyou!  
Benjamin seeks to warn the other Lords.  
Keeper Ukyou hot on Benjamin's heels.  
Dominique begins her hunt for Benjamin.  
What awaits Keeper Gornigan in the Snapdragon? 


End file.
